French bulldog trying to teach baby to crawl
YOU FUCKING SEE THIS MAP, MOTHERFUCKERS?
YOU GETTING A LONG GOOD SQUINT ON WITH YOUR SIGHT-HOLES?
YOU SEE THAT LONG ORANGE SNAKE WEAVING ITSELF AROUND OUR FAIR COUNTRY?
THAT ORANGE LINE DENOTES THE 100 MILE BORDERS OF THE US, WHICH IS NOW BASICALLY A CONSTITUTION-FREE ZONE
DOES THAT SOUND HYPERBOLIC TO YOU SHITHEADS?
DO YOU THINK I’M GETTING MY MOTHERFUCKING HYPERBOLE ON?
THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY HAS DECLARED THAT ITS AGENTS NOW HAVE THE RIGHTS TO SEARCH THE ELECTRONIC POSSESSIONS OF ANY FUCKING ONE IN THAT ZONE
ANYBODY, FOR ANY REASON, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A BORDER OF THE US, CAN NOW HAVE THEIR FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS VIOLATED
THIS OBVIOUSLY INCLUDES THE ENTIRE EAST AND WEST COASTS, ALSO KNOWN AS, YOU KNOW, THE FUCKING POPULATION CENTERS OF OUR ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY
THIS EQUATES TO NEARLY 200 MILLION FUCKING AMERICANS, OR 2/3RDS OF OUR ENTIRE SHITSTAINING WAFFLEHUMPING JELLOFUCKING FROGTOGGLING MINTSNIFFING HORSEHOCKING COUNTRY
IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, YOU RIGHT NOW DO NOT HAVE FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS ANYMORE
THEY HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY IF YOU LIVE ANYWHERE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A US BORDER
THAT MEANS MOST OF THE POPULATION OF ALL WEST COAST (ESPECIALLY CALIFORNIA) AND EAST COAST STATES, ALL OF FLORIDA AND THE ENTIRE NORTHEAST QUADRANT, AND ALL OF POOR MOTHERFUCKING HAWAII
JUST LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FUCKER, NOW A LITTLE COLLECTION OF ORANGE DOTS FLOATING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN
LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR YOU NOOKWHIFFERS: THE FOURTH AMENDMENT NO LONGER APPLIES TO THE ENTIRE STATE OF HAWAII, AS WELL AS THE ENTIRE STATES OF FLORIDA, MAINE, MASSACHUSETTS, DELAWARE, NEW YORK, AND ALL THOSE OTHER FIDDLY LITTLE TINY FUCKING STATES UP IN THE SNOOTY PART OF AMERICA, YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE A KINDERGARTNER TRIED TO MAKE A JIGSAW PUZZLE OUT OF RABBIT SHIT
INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THE RED MEATY CENTER OF AMERICA IS ENTIRELY PROTECTED BUT I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO GET INTO THAT
POINT IS, THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, WHICH IS NOTORIOUS FOR ITS BLANKET STATEMENTS AND ITS DISREGARD FOR THE PRIVACY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, HAS NOW DECLARED THE RIGHTS OF TWO MOTHERFUCKING THIRDS OF THE GODDAMNED COUNTRY INVALID
AND YES I MOTHERFUCKING STRETCHED YOUR DASH FOR THIS
GUESS WHAT? I’LL STRETCH YOUR FUCKING ASS TOO UNTIL YOU AT LEAST REBLOG THIS, AND LET MORE FUCKING PEOPLE KNOW THAT THEIR RIGHTS ARE FUCKING GONE
MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE, PEOPLE
cuz this shit ain’t right.
EDIT: CLICKTHROUGH THE PIC FOR SOURCE, SHITSTAINS
shit im in chicago
I didn’t believe this initially because it’s completely in caps, but it has legitimate sources. I am aghast.
If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex
But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage
But homosexuality is bad
I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
7 Books that Celebrate Girl Power
“Here are seven books that remind us all that girls can achieve anything they set their minds and hearts to.
1. Girls Think of Everything: Stories of Ingenious Inventions by Women by Catherine Thimmesh
Did you know that a woman invented windshield wipers? Liquid paper? Chocolate chip cookies? Learn the inspirational stories behind some of the most ingenious women ever in this colorful, informative collection of biographies. Readers will also be encouraged to dream up some of their own inventions and will learn how to take their ideas from the lightbulb in the brain to the patent office.
2. Grace for President by Kelly DiPucchio and LeUyen Pham
“Where are all the girls?” asks a puzzled Grace, when her teacher shows her class a picture of the U.S. presidents throughout history. Determined to change the face of politics, Grace presents herself as a candidate for President in the school’s mock election. Follow along with Grace as she discovers more about what it means to be a leader and learn more about the U.S. electoral system along the way.
3. Zephyr Takes Flight by Steve Light
Does your daughter dream of flying? Little Zephyr loves everything about airplanes, and sneaks away into a secret world where she can pursue her dream of piloting a plane. This beautifully illustrated book is ideal for the dreamy yet strong-willed girl that lives in in all of our daughters.
4. The Girls’ Book of Wisdom: Empowering, Inspirational Quotes from over 400 Fabulous Females by Catherine Dee
Over 400 famous women, from Maya Angelou to Eleanor Roosevelt, share their words of wisdom in this inspirational tome. The quotes are grouped in 44 categories such as confidence, creativity, friendship and happiness. These inspiring quotes also make great mother/daughter discussion topics, and might just make you laugh, cry or even inspire you to take that next big step. Each quotation also features a brief bio on the author.
5. Bad Girls: Sirens, Jezebels, Murderesses, Thieves and other Female Villians by Jane Yolen and Heidi Stemple
Beloved children’s author Jane Yolen and co-author Heidi Stemple introduce readers to the more infamous women of history in this collection of bios. Twenty-six notorious women are profiled, from Tituba to Mata Hari. Readers are encouraged to consider these women in the context of their times before passing judgment on their dastardly deeds, and at the end of each chapter, the authors appear in comic format to discuss the guilt or innocence of each alleged villain.
6. Rachel: The Story of Rachel Carson by Amy Ehrlich
As a little girl, Rachel Carson loved to explore the environment around her. She translated this passion into her work as a biologist and environmental advocate. Many say that Carson’s book The Silent Spring spurred the environmental movement, and this book will inspire budding ecologists or indeed any child who loves and cares about the health of our ecosystem.
7. Don’t Kiss the Frog! Princess Stories with Attitude by Fiona Waters
Seven writers have teamed up to offer alternatives to the usual fairy tale endings in this charming and hilarious anthology. The princesses represented are anything but demure, and they use their intelligence, wit and strength to make a mark on the world, encouraging all tiara- and tutu-loving readers to do the same. “
Read more here: http://ow.ly/iTpv2
Some of the Discworld main characters by Paul Kidby -
Rincewind - Sam Vimes - Moist Von Lipwig - Granny Weatherwax - Death - Susan Sto Helit - Archchancellor Ridcully - Cohen the Barbarian - Tiffany Aching